There are many kinds of diseases or issues, such as lack of self-confidence, but there is only one healing: LOVE. The countless outward manifestations of the misalignment to love may appear strikingly different, but the power of love is all encompassing, and it is the ultimate source of healing.
However, our understanding of love could be greatly clouded, leading to the disharmony and subsequent undesirable physical manifestations. Therefore, I write this article for your understanding of love, which will enable you to embark on the journey of self-healing.
There are four levels of love
Level 1: seeking love from others
This is the lowest form of love that’s detrimental to us on all levels, but unfortunately, it’s the most prevalent form of love that we see. We are constantly seeking love, confirmation, and approval from others. We try to do “good” in order to gain favors from others. It is a big motivation for many people to feel loved, to feel worthy.
If you look at a child closely, you will notice that they are the master of seeking love from others. He/she cries when their sibling or friends get things that they don’t. How often do you hear a child say, “It’s not fair?” And how often do you say to them, “What did you do to earn it?”
They felt sad when they were denied by their parents to have the toy they like, or the beautiful clothes they love so much. It is not that the parents don’t love them, the parents might be dealing with issues of their own such as financial ones. Or the parents do not want to spoil the children and made them think they can get anything they want by throwing a tantrum. Regardless, the child seeks love from others and they use this love as the yardstick of self-worthiness.
On the other hand, parents and guardians feed the concept that you have to be good to “earn” it. Kids learn at a really young age that their doing, good or bad, leads to being loved or not; it’s true in their own mind. In other words, their being loved is conditional and they need approval and confirmation.
For a lot of people, they try to do good deeds, with the hope of being loved in return. A reciprocation of love is what they are after, because for them only when others show love to them could they feel their own self-importance. When you constantly measure your own self-worth from how much others love you, while you may try to love others, it is only for the purpose of their reciprocation. Seeking love outside of the self only leads to hurt. Constantly looking outside for love, in vain, made people feel unloved, unworthy, and even life not worth living.
Many issues that occur later in life were seeded at the childhood stage, particularly before the age of 7. That’s why deep healing requires resolving issues from the younger self and the initiation of self-love, a level 3 love we will talk about in a later section.
Seeking love from others is the lowest level of love, it has many problems because you won’t always find what you are seeking. Your feeling of self-worthiness depends on something outside of you, which you have no control over. It renders you powerless and does you harm.
Level 2: love others
This second level of love, love others, can go parallel with the first level of love, seeking love from others. Love others not necessarily mean it’s a step forward from seeking love from others, they could go hand in hand.
Love others is not too hard of a thing. It is a moral thing to love others and humanity promotes this type of love. Couples love each other, parents love their children, teachers love their students, you love your friends and your neighbors, you love the people who were hit by a natural disaster, etc. Love is everywhere. You love other beings. You do not even need to know them personally to love them.
What makes it possible to love others, even when the others are strangers? It is empathy. Empathy allows you to put yourself in their positions and feel the pain they feel and therefore love them, even if they are total strangers.
Loving others is different than liking them. Parents can put up with their children’s misbehaving because they love their children. They may even say, “I don’t like you, but I love you.” It is apparent that love and like are not the same. While like is optional and depends on how compatible the two persons are, love is a bit unconditional. That is why you may not like someone, but you can still love them.
While we are talking about loving others, I want to mention a somewhat serious issue, and that is making choices for others under the name of love. An easy example is parents try to direct their children’s future. For example, the kid may like arts and wants to become an artist while the parents forced him/her to go to medical school. To the parents, medical school means more money and a somewhat stable job while art is unpredictable. They may force their child to make that decision because they “love” them. I want to mention this scenario here so that we can distinguish loving others and another form of love, unconditional love, later on. This is only one example, there are many cases where loving others on the second level is simply constricted.
If you are a human being, loving others is not so hard of a skill. It is a natural ability that you are born with.
Level 3: self-love
Loving others is a good thing, but do you know what is better? Self-love!
Self-love is a huge improvement from seeking love from others, and it is a point where healing can occur. Loving yourself is actually not so easy of a thing to do. We had been conditioned since early childhood that we need to behave, to do good in order to be loved. If we do not do well at school, we may not be able to get the reward, prize, or trophy our teachers and our parents promised. If we do something bad, even unintentionally sometimes, we were punished. Our behaviors are directly linked with whether we are loved or not. Our being loved is conditional, at least we interpreted it as so since an early age.
It has become so hard to love yourself, because all your life you had been conditioned to look outside for the confirmation and approval of others. You may love others, but you are extremely harsh and judgmental on yourself. When you seek love from the outside, you are operating on the level of doing-ness. When you love yourself unconditionally, you are lifted up to being-ness. You do not even know or understand, that just by being YOU, is great value to the Universe.
Loving yourself intrinsically means that you do not need outside confirmations, outside approval of you to feel how important you are. Self-love puts you in touch with your soul essence, and that’s why it is so powerful. It is not your doing-ness but your being-ness that defines you.
Self-love is an unconditional love of yourself. It is the true heal for many ailments, diseases, and issues like lack of self-confidence. When you love yourself, you appreciate your own being. You appreciate yourself even when the outside mistreated you. You see your own beauty and how remarkable you are. It leads you to complete self-acceptance and self-healing.[bctt tweet=”Add this powerful affirmation to your daily routine:
I love myself without precedent.” username=”SueMaisano”]
Level 4: unconditional love
Just as self-love is unconditional, the level 4 love called unconditional love is an unconditional love for all beings. There is a big distinction to the aforementioned level 2 love, loving others. Unconditional love carries with it the understanding that all is well, that there is no failure, there is no disharmony, there is no death, there is no fear, there is only goodness and harmony in everything and everybody. Unconditional love is associated with these concepts: trust, allowing, accepting, letting go.[bctt tweet=”Self-love gets you in touch with your Soul; unconditional love connects you with the Source.” username=”SueMaisano”]
Source created us and gave us free will. We have the freedom of choice, even if that means we made bad choices. We will learn from the consequences of our own choices, and through first hand learning and experiencing we gain wisdom and progression. No matter what we do, no matter how bad our choices are, the Source loves us unconditionally and gave us the opportunity and freedom to experience the result of our choices. We are allowed to adventure, we are allowed to make mistakes, we are allowed to learn at our own pace, we are loved no matter what.
Let’s use an earlier example again where parents making decisions for their children in their career. Let’s say the kid has a passion for art and wants to become an artist, if the parents possess unconditional love, then they would allow their kid to make his/her decisions of pursuing his/her passion instead of imposing their own ideas onto the kid.
Unconditional love means allowing, allowing other beings to make their own choices and even “mistakes” with the knowing that there is no “failure”. It does not mean you avoid giving any advice to others when you clearly see the need, you can still influence others in their decision making but keep in mind that they have their freedom of choice. It takes a lot of practice of letting go to be able to reach the level of unconditional love, but the rewards are well worth it.
Unconditional love is the frequency of Source, where everything springs. The Source unconditionally loves its own creations, the stars, the rock, the mountain, the ocean, the trees, the flowers, the animals and other beings, and of course you.
When you possess unconditional love towards all beings, there is nothing that can upset you because you know that all is well, and other beings are allowed to be the way they are. You see perfection everywhere. You are also compassionate about other beings and can tap into the healing energy from the all-encompassing universe to heal those in need. Love is the ultimate heal. This unconditional love that you have is the greatest power in the Universe.
Which level of love are you operating from?