There are 3 lies that you keep telling yourself and they create the feelings of being stuck, frustrations, and the feeling of hopelessness. These 3 lies keep ruining people’s lives, narrowing people’s perspectives, and rendering them operate way below their capacities. Recognize and eliminate these 3 lies from your life will open the gate of endless possibilities for you.
Lie #1: I’m too old to learn
This is probably the most common lie we hear all the time. Let me tell you why this is a blatant lie.
First off, it is impossible to define “old”. The definition of old is having lived a long time; no longer young. From the definition, you can see that it is very vague. What is considered having lived a long time? It’s totally subjective. Old is a relative term as opposed to young. Then what is young? It is the opposite of old! You can tell that it’s going back and forth, and you can’t really find an answer of the meaning of old.
Essentially, old is a mental state, it is the feeling of being old. To a 20-year-old, they may consider age 40 an old age. To a 30-year-old, they may feel age 60 is the beginning of old age. There really is no yard stick but how you feel. A 20 year old could have such a gloomy view of life that he/she turns off opportunities in life. On the contra, an 80-year-old could be full of vitality and living life to the fullest, learning new skills, expanding his/her capabilities, such as this hot Chinese grandpa.
Second, learning is endless; you never seize to learn. Because of the structure of the education system, many people associate learning with schooling, and they are DONE with learning, at least in their mind, after graduation. Life itself is the ultimate school, and you never stop learning. You always find new things, new happenings, new encounters with people, you come up with new ideas. It is impossible for you to not learn.
I often hear people say I am too old to learn a foreign language, I am too old to learn this new skill, I am too old to… To say “I am too old to learn” is really telling a lie to yourself, and because of this excuse you do not even try. Because you don’t try, you never have a start in the endeavor, then of course you can’t achieve it. You close the door yourself, with a lie you made up mentally.
Lie #2: It works for so and so but not me
Other people achieved business success, you admire them but you say it works for him/her but not for me. Someone lost weight with proper dieting or exercise, you like it but you say it works for them but not for me. Someone went from rags to riches, you respect them but you say it works for them but not for me.
Basically, you see others succeeding, but you are telling yourself that the same will not happen to you. It is good in the sense that you recognize your uniqueness, but at the same time you are setting up excuses for your failure. It is true that you cannot copy the exact same thing, the exact steps it takes someone else to achieve success, but it does set an example to you what is possible for you as well.
I’m not a Star Wars fan, but I do like some wisdom embedded in the movies. When Yoda was training Luke, after his master raises an X-wing from the Dagobah swamp, Luck breathlessly said, “I don’t believe it.” Yoda replied, “That is why you fail.” Yoda was teaching Luke that succeed or not depends on your own belief. If you don’t believe in your success, then you will certainly fail. Success or failure, it is in your mind.
Success is a myth to us that we sermon so much, to the point that it seems unreachable, and only the few special ones are entitled to it. These few special ones are different than us, and that’s why they succeeded in the first place. That is also why I cannot succeed, because I am not the special one like them. Do these thoughts ring a bell? No matter how successful people tried to convince you that they are no special, that they are just someone like you, that you can achieve whatever they have achieved also, you don’t believe it. The thought that it works for so and so but not me offers an excuse for an easy way out, which is failure.
However, people who succeeded is not much different then you. They might have started from where you are now, or in much worse situations. But then they changed their mind, perhaps just a little bit in the beginning, which allows them to see that they could achieve something better. Once their mind opened up this possibility, they put in work to achieve their goal. When the first goal is achieved, they have a glimpse of what more is possible, because their horizons are opened up even more. One thing led to another, then the next, then the next. Eventually they were led to success that seemed so far reach from the beginning. But it all started from a mental shift that they can and will succeed.
What’s possible for others is possible for you too. What others can achieve you can achieve too, and even more. So stop telling the lie that it won’t work for you. Plant the mental seed, the belief, that you can do it!
Lie #3: I’ll do it tomorrow
Many of us are guilty of this one. I’m sure you hear it often, perhaps you told yourself this many times too. It even has a pretty fancy name, procrastination.
You say I’ll quit smoking tomorrow, I’ll go on a diet tomorrow, I’ll go to the gym tomorrow, I’ll do the work tomorrow, I’ll _ (fill in the blank yourself) tomorrow.
You know what you need to do, but you don’t feel like doing it, therefore, you say, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” Then one day passed, the “tomorrow” you perceived the day before has become “today”. Your statement “I’ll do it tomorrow” still applies, because it’s not tomorrow yet. Until it comes the last minute that you absolutely have to do it, you finally forced yourself to carry it out and get it done. And during this process of procrastination it generates a lot of anxiety, stress, and guilt. At the last minute, you hasted to get it accomplished. Had you done it today, it would have been a much better experience.
Tomorrow never comes. When you say “I’ll do it tomorrow” you are actually feeling the pains of doing the work in this moment of now. This uncomfortable feeling set up the resistance to carry out the actual work, therefore, you decide to push it aside mentally. If you can mentally dissolve the resistance, then it’s easy to do the work today, right now. What you need to do is to separate your thinking with your action described in this article.
Get into the mode of just do it. Don’t get your mind entangled in the way, roll up your sleeve and jump into action.
Don’t feel into the pains of doing the work, just do it. Stop telling yourself the lie “I’ll do it tomorrow”, get your mind out of the way of your action and do it today, right now.
No more lies! Start telling yourself the following:
I am never too old to learn.
I can do it just like so and so, only better.
I do what I got to do today.
There are many others lies you are telling yourself, such as I can’t lose weight, I can’t get up early in the morning, I have a bad memory, I’m always poor, the list goes on and on… Are you telling lies to yourself? Here is the gold standard to find out: anything that’s restrictive on your mind is a lie! Now go and find out these internal statements and replace them with their opposites. You will feel much relief and full of excitement!